I miss you ma...

I dreamt of my mother. It was so real, it felt real. She was thin but she was peaceful. It was my graduation, she's actually attending my graduation I thought. But at the back of my mind, I knew I already had my graduation.I saw some of my classmates, Oching and Dan David. Oching was wearing this body hugging cocktail dress while Dan was wearing a Tux I think. They were trying to sit.

I told my mother to wait. She was at the audience. She had no make-up on, but she was so beautiful. My mother had a very good skin. Flawless if I may say so. She was wearing a blouse and a pair of pants and a pair of black wedge slippers which she often used. On her lap was her LV Neverfull bag. Sitting beside her was papa. My dad was wearing a white shirt and a pair of short pants. His left arm was hanging on my mother's chair as if trying to put her arms around her. She was just there sitting, waiting for the program to start and they were both looking at the sea of crowd. I still had an hour to prepare. I rushed home to change. I didn't know what to tell anybody when I got home. There was my grandmother and grandfather, my cousin Tetet. All I thought at that moment was that I was going to be late. I quickly undress and try to look for a dress and thought of how to put on my make-up, what color to use as my eyeshadow. Then I woke up, my heart beating fast because I was still afraid to be late.

I wished it was real, it felt real to me. I can recall every detail, even the smallest detail. I know she wanted me to finish my masters and I did. I wish she was there to actually see me finish my masters. I know she wanted to be there. 

I miss you so much ma...