The thing with people is that we always try to find the easy way, or that we try to get everything for free even though we know we're capable or paying for it. 

I don't mind conversing with friends and being asked about certain diseases and medications. Those are just friendly conversations. In my many years of working (please don't make me mention my age), I have crossed paths with certain kinds of people. And it is in these many years that I've honed my skill of detection. I can sense a question when it is trying to squeeze something different from me. And then an alarm turns on inside me. Face starts to heat up, everything inside me starts to buckle up. If I am trying to be cynical, I would say, "Google not helping much?" But I try to be nice and so I say, "Let them come and have the doctor try to look at it and tell you what it is." 

Red Stethoscope with Red Waterman Fountain Pen

Although we took an oath to never do harm and help sick people, this doesn't mean that you can abuse our kindness... or our intellect, whatever the factors may be. We will try to be as courteous and as helpful as we could but please do not abuse us. We know your kind. We also know the kind of people who grabs every opportunity, not minding other people who might get hurt.

My advise is, "If you're not feeling well, come and see a doctor yourself. We would like to see you up  close and personal and examine you. We would be very happy to help you in your ailments. If you did not get well, come and see us again. We would like to know what happened. Don't go shopping for doctors. We are not mere commodities you find in the supermarket. Tell us everything and we would be happy to be your friend."

The Trouble With Shimmering Inks

In as much as I love inks with sheen, they somehow tend to clog my pen. And it is so irritating.

I find myself forcing the ink out by waving my hand hard downward hoping to flush the ink. Or I have to disassemble my nib and wash it just so it'll take the clog out. And I have to choose a pen that I can diassemble the nib so that I can wash and brush the sheen out of it. Kinda frustrating really.

I now have a love-hate relationship with them. But they just makes writing more interesting.

Smile

There are so may thoughts going through my mind right now and I'm trying to sort it out. It has been a crazy week. Wait, it's always a crazy week. I long for the days when it won't be crazy.

I have talked about not wanting to work and not wanting to be in a conversation with anybody other than the usual people that I get in close contact with in the office. Then I also mentioned of having to talk to people against my will, meaning I'm not in the mood for a chit chat. Sometimes we realize things that we have already thought of before but have forgotten.

You know when you're sad or angry, it doesn't take much effort to frown. Really. All muscles go down your face, going where gravity pulls it taking with it your energy and confidence. But when you smile, it takes so much effort to move your muscles against gravity and keeping a positive outlook despite all the negativities being bombarded your way, seeing other people frowning. And it just made me realized how big of an effort that is for that person to smile to someone who is frowning.

I was at the office the other day, so many things to do as always then someone walked in with smiles and positive energy despite the day that she had. Here I was, thinking, "hay... ano na naman kayang problema to?" and I wasn't really in the mood to talk about anything much so do some planning. But with her smiles and energy, she managed to change my mood and motivated me to do some thinking at a time when I was almost drained to the max. Kudos to that person. I know her job is not the easiest in the world but I applaud her for always putting up a smile in front of different people.

So if somebody comes up to you with a smile, be glad that someone is trying to cheer you up. I know that there are some exceptions to this, especially to those people that you hold grudges and are not willing to make up just yet, that's your call. The moral of this is that, appreciate the effort that people exert and HAVE COURAGE, BE KIND!

Morning Boost

Sharing to you my morning tea fresh from my herb garden.

It's a mixture of strawberry mint leaves, peppermint leaves, and stevia leaves. Refreshing in the mouth, great for boosting senses. Have a great day ahead everyone!

Precious One

It was the first time I heard my husband mention about my depression. I never thought that he gave any notice or that he would even acknowledge that it happened. But it did. I lost something so precious. Three years ago, when everything was so messy, I was in my lowest point. But my husband was there to hold my hand and dry my tears, making me feel that I wasn't alone. His presence had given me so much strength.

I thought that when something happens, people can eventually move on. But no one really gets over events. People just learn how to live with them. Once in a while, when I am all alone, I still think about the precious angel and the what ifs. It took a bit of myself. I feel lost at times, a bit of myself gone somewhere.

There has been a debate about life, whether it is during conception or when there are already signs of heartbeat. To me life is life, no matter what "experts" say, life is still life. A soon as it is conceived, it is life. Who are we to judge about life.

It is October, and this is for our angel up above.

"Hold on precious one.
Be strong, have faith.
You are always in my prayer.
You are always in my heart."