The thing with people is that we always try to find the easy way, or that we try to get everything for free even though we know we're capable or paying for it. 

I don't mind conversing with friends and being asked about certain diseases and medications. Those are just friendly conversations. In my many years of working (please don't make me mention my age), I have crossed paths with certain kinds of people. And it is in these many years that I've honed my skill of detection. I can sense a question when it is trying to squeeze something different from me. And then an alarm turns on inside me. Face starts to heat up, everything inside me starts to buckle up. If I am trying to be cynical, I would say, "Google not helping much?" But I try to be nice and so I say, "Let them come and have the doctor try to look at it and tell you what it is." 

Red Stethoscope with Red Waterman Fountain Pen

Although we took an oath to never do harm and help sick people, this doesn't mean that you can abuse our kindness... or our intellect, whatever the factors may be. We will try to be as courteous and as helpful as we could but please do not abuse us. We know your kind. We also know the kind of people who grabs every opportunity, not minding other people who might get hurt.

My advise is, "If you're not feeling well, come and see a doctor yourself. We would like to see you up  close and personal and examine you. We would be very happy to help you in your ailments. If you did not get well, come and see us again. We would like to know what happened. Don't go shopping for doctors. We are not mere commodities you find in the supermarket. Tell us everything and we would be happy to be your friend."

The Trouble With Shimmering Inks

In as much as I love inks with sheen, they somehow tend to clog my pen. And it is so irritating.

I find myself forcing the ink out by waving my hand hard downward hoping to flush the ink. Or I have to disassemble my nib and wash it just so it'll take the clog out. And I have to choose a pen that I can diassemble the nib so that I can wash and brush the sheen out of it. Kinda frustrating really.

I now have a love-hate relationship with them. But they just makes writing more interesting.

Smile

There are so may thoughts going through my mind right now and I'm trying to sort it out. It has been a crazy week. Wait, it's always a crazy week. I long for the days when it won't be crazy.

I have talked about not wanting to work and not wanting to be in a conversation with anybody other than the usual people that I get in close contact with in the office. Then I also mentioned of having to talk to people against my will, meaning I'm not in the mood for a chit chat. Sometimes we realize things that we have already thought of before but have forgotten.

You know when you're sad or angry, it doesn't take much effort to frown. Really. All muscles go down your face, going where gravity pulls it taking with it your energy and confidence. But when you smile, it takes so much effort to move your muscles against gravity and keeping a positive outlook despite all the negativities being bombarded your way, seeing other people frowning. And it just made me realized how big of an effort that is for that person to smile to someone who is frowning.

I was at the office the other day, so many things to do as always then someone walked in with smiles and positive energy despite the day that she had. Here I was, thinking, "hay... ano na naman kayang problema to?" and I wasn't really in the mood to talk about anything much so do some planning. But with her smiles and energy, she managed to change my mood and motivated me to do some thinking at a time when I was almost drained to the max. Kudos to that person. I know her job is not the easiest in the world but I applaud her for always putting up a smile in front of different people.

So if somebody comes up to you with a smile, be glad that someone is trying to cheer you up. I know that there are some exceptions to this, especially to those people that you hold grudges and are not willing to make up just yet, that's your call. The moral of this is that, appreciate the effort that people exert and HAVE COURAGE, BE KIND!

Morning Boost

Sharing to you my morning tea fresh from my herb garden.

It's a mixture of strawberry mint leaves, peppermint leaves, and stevia leaves. Refreshing in the mouth, great for boosting senses. Have a great day ahead everyone!

Precious One

It was the first time I heard my husband mention about my depression. I never thought that he gave any notice or that he would even acknowledge that it happened. But it did. I lost something so precious. Three years ago, when everything was so messy, I was in my lowest point. But my husband was there to hold my hand and dry my tears, making me feel that I wasn't alone. His presence had given me so much strength.

I thought that when something happens, people can eventually move on. But no one really gets over events. People just learn how to live with them. Once in a while, when I am all alone, I still think about the precious angel and the what ifs. It took a bit of myself. I feel lost at times, a bit of myself gone somewhere.

There has been a debate about life, whether it is during conception or when there are already signs of heartbeat. To me life is life, no matter what "experts" say, life is still life. A soon as it is conceived, it is life. Who are we to judge about life.

It is October, and this is for our angel up above.

"Hold on precious one.
Be strong, have faith.
You are always in my prayer.
You are always in my heart."

Anger

I have been very angry for the past few weeks. An emotion so strong that it was just so hard to control. I try to avoid people but in my line of work, I cannot really avoid them. In a sense, they are the lifeline of what I do for a living. 

I felt frustrated which eventually led to anger. And I didn't like it. It's as if I struggled to wake up everyday. I didn't wanna leave the house. I didn't wanna go anywhere or talk to anybody or do anything. I just wanted to be inside my comfort zone. I thought that if I'd stay in my zone, I wouldn't be able to say anything bad that may hurt people. 

And it was an emotion that was so difficult to shake off. I tried to suppress the emotions but it just wouldn't leave. It's like having your own demons to conquer. I tried to find reasons. And the only thing that I could point it to was expecting too much from people and then being let down. That's why I've always said countless times that I don't like expecting something. Better to not know than, knowing and waiting and being let down in the end. 

How to end it? There's no easy way really. Just waiting for it to end and fill it up with happy memories. It's like a thermometer reaching a boiling point. And you just wait for it to lower down by taking it out of the source of heat and putting it up somewhere. 

And I just turned to Him and pray to Him and read His scriptures. And I prayed that the next time it would happen again would be never. Or if it would happen again, I would have the strength and the courage to deal with it and not hurt anyone.

Am I over it completely? I don't think anybody could be over it completely. But at least I'm not at the peak anymore. I'm way below the threshold and I'm happy. I'm happy that it'll be over soon. I can start laughing my ass off again.

I'm writing it down because I wanna acknowledge it. I wanna tell myself that, "Yes, I am human and I go through this." And by acknowledging it, I can tell myself repeatedly that there are things I cannot control and must let go; that only 10% of everything can be controlled (as the saying goes). And that I have the 10% to perfect. The rest of the 90%, I leave by faith. And so should everyone else.

Have courage. Be kind.

Imagination

It pays to have an imaginative mind sometimes. Having hyperactive kids in the house, you'll never know what things they'll ask you to do. M likes to keep singing the same song over and over again. At night, he'll ask you to tell him a story, preferably dinosaur stories. Then you'll have to make stories, credible stories based on the different dinosaurs and their capabilities. Plus the different sound effects that you have to invent to make the stories more lively and believable.

The girls prefer to ask questions with more straightforward answers. No flowery words, just truthful answers. And you have to learn to keep your word. They'll remember days, when and where and why.

They are growing so fast. And they are texting now. But don't expect to get messages during work time. They just text when they're tired of waiting or when they ask if we're coming home. R doesn't like us texting while she's having her classes. Time really flies so fast.

My Weapon for the Next Week

I just inked up my pens. I love using TWSBI. They're smooth to write with and very easy to clean. I am also liking the Studio Series fountain pen given by my dear sister Eshma. 

Putting It All Together

So I made myself a bouquet of flowers using the same technique and materials used in the workshop. But this time, I did it in my monologue sketchbook.

I sketched it out first with a pencil then traced it with my marker and erased the traces of pencil.

I used watercolor to paint the bouquet.

And Voila!

Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho

I really love his work. So powerful. It touches your heart and soul and makes you think. So what's the eleven minutes all about? Read...

Vintage Flowers

Vintage... that's what hubby said when I showed him this. I tried to do the same style but this time doing it digitally.

When you grab this and use it as ur wallpaper, please let me know. Would love to hear a heads up.

A Rose Is Just A Rose - Aretha Franklin

Creative Lettering and Basic Florals Workshop

I've always wanted to do flowers but somehow I find them difficult to perfect (naks, perfect talaga). Opportunity came knocking when I stumbled upon this workshop. Torn between attending a medical conference with CPD units and PCOM units mind you, I just had to choose this over the other. It was a moment when I really need something to divert my attention.

So Creative Lettering it is....

The artist, Nice Magallon, was really good. 

Writing with different kinds of brush pen.

Trying out the watercolor to do my lettering...

And it would never be complete without the final product.

An Artsy Crafty Birthday Party

Time flew so fast really.  Nine years and counting. My little girl who is not so little now celebrated her brithday with a craft party together with a few of her friends at Yellow Hauz. It was a Sharpie-on-Fabric kind of day for them. 

Thanks to Miss April San Pedro (@iamartisan of Artisan Paperie) who made it all possible. They did it on shirts, bags and pouches.

And of course, it would not be complete without a photo session.

Fighting Diabetes (The Sanofi Way)

I was given the opportunity to be part of a training program that had changed my life forever. I'm a high risk patient with a family history of Diabetes Mellitus on both sides of the family. I'm Asian, Filipino, BMI is Obese 2 with Central Adiposity. I have Mitral Valve Regurgitation, which results to occasional palpitations. Need I say more. That's just a few of my risk factors. 

We meet people for reasons beyond our comprehension but the reasons will unfold eventually. Case in point, my Diabetes Training. I had the pleasure of being recommended by my dear friend, my igsu, Dr. Billy Langreo, to be part of the LEADPH training. I then met Ms. Irene Yap who made it all possible. From then on it was history. It was not easy but with friends around, learning together, it was an experience of a lifetime.

Oh did I mention the cool people I had the pleasure of meeting during the training? Here's the beautiful people I was with during those times. 

This photo was taken during the early days of our training. We decided to call our group the "Rock On" group, hence the hand gestures. We were LeadPh batch 22.

The training has about 40% lectures, 30% Case Reporting and 30% OPD Consultations. It may sound daunting but that's what made the training more educational. The OPD Consultations helped by putting what we learned into action and it made the lectures more unforgettable. The Case Reporting and Case Discussions helped us understood the cases we saw and made a different perspective at how we used to view and understood the disease.

What LeadPh means.

Part of the training was OPD consultations. This was taken at Amang Rodriguez Hospital. With me are my classmates in medical school, Dr. Emily Doliente and Dr. Au Narisma (on my right side), and my room mate, Dr. Eva Pantino (on my left side), while waiting for our potential patients.

From left, Dr. Emily Doliente, Dr. Au Narisma, Me and Dr. Eva Pantino

Falling in line for the review of our mentor

This was at the ISDFI outpatient area. 

My very kind and very compliant patient.

ROCK ON

With one of our mentor in the middle Dr. Danilo Baldemor (with grey shirt). The one on his right is our amazing self-dsignated President, Dr. Aron.

At the Heart of Jesus Hospital, beside the Diabetes Care Clinic.

With one of our mentor, Dr. Rino Sobrepena at Nueva Ecija Diabetes Care Clinic.

At the Closing Ceremony. With Dr. Pasaporte (grey shirt), Dr. Lim (violet shirt) and Dr. Catinding (white blouse)  with the staff of ISDFI (beside Dr. Catindig) and the staff of Sanofi (beside me, blue shirt)

Of course, the most important, my Certificate of Completion

The training wouldn't have been as educational, fun and memorable if it not for our mentors and our dear president, Dr. Aron, who, even in his gloomy days, have never failed to entertain us, forget our problems and just concentrate on our training. It was also him that encouraged me and pushed me to drink more water. I now drink 2 glasses of water before meals (yehey!). Plus the amazing people whom I have the pleasure of being around with for more than 12 days (24 days and more). Needless to say, we had separation anxieties right after the training. Although, my colleagues wouldn't admit it, but we did. We maintained our FB chatroom for our batch. I'm pretty sure our bantay, Ma'am Mai, missed us more. 

Let me have this opportunity to thank Sanofi, Ma'am Irene. Daghang Salamat. You gave me the opportunity to reflect on myself (literally) and examine the things that I thought I knew. You have also given me the biggest responsibility to spread the word on Diabetes.

Let me also thank my dear family, for the support. I usually fly back early in the morning, and they'b be concerned of how tired I looked and cheered me all the time. My dear children for always understanding my work, and for my dear husband, my great support, my influencer, my-cheer-me-up pill and my cry-me-a-river-pill, my other hand in everything, you rock Pi. I wouldn't have been the person I am now without your support and your words-of-wisdom.

Here's to fighting Diabetes!!!

Graduation

Finally the day had arrived. We've been waiting for this. Truly a blessing. Congratulations hubby! 

Master of Science in Public Health - Major in Hospital Administration 

Trekking Down Memory Lane

So I am tasked to transfer my husband's photos. Oh not much.... just more than 2000+ photos. So while I sit on the edge of the bed looking at the thousand photos, I am brought back into the past. When my kids were still tiny human beings, smiling, giggling, wondering at the smallest details about life.

How time flew so fast. Watching the kids transform before my eyes all over again, and seeing my mother smiling, ahhh the beauty of life.

To all the mothers', soon-to-be mothers... HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!!!

How to Make a Notebook

If you're a fountain pen lover, besides having the difficulty to choose an ink, is the difficulty to find a notebook of your taste. A notebook that isn't too thin that would result to bleeding of inks, a notebook that you can write freely at the back no matter how wet the pen is, a notebook that is cheap and a notebook that you can get anywhere.

But that is not always the case. So I decided to make my own notebooks. I had so many loose bonds of paper of about 150 gsm and more. Here is a step-by-step photo of how we made the notebooks.

This is the loose bonds of paper. I grouped about 10 sheets and stacked them. I folded them in half and cut them.

I then folded them again in half. 

My assistant then patiently stacked them ready to be stapled together. Do not forget to include a thicker paper on the outside which would serve as your cover. Choose a paper with designs that you would want to stare at for long periods of time.

Staple them together using this kind of a stapler so that you won't need to fold the edges just to get to the center.

Make sure that the papers are all aligned. If they are not, you can always cut them straight using a cutter and a ruler or a paper cutter if you have one.

Now cut the corner of the paper using the cutter on the right. It would give you rounded edges.

The final product!

We made two sizes. One was made out of a short bond of paper, while the other one was made from a legal sized paper. 

We hope this blog has helped you. Care to share any crafts? Please leave a comment at the bottom.

The Quest for Fruits

Every once in a while I get to attend trainings, special trainings not offered by DOH. And these are the kinds of trainings I dare not miss. No offense to the lead agency in health, but sometines there are great health related trainings not offered by them.

So here I am, in a land far far away from home, trying my best to learn as much as I can, improve myself, as much as I can, sow and reap the best fruits of hard work.

But in every place that I go to, I always look for fruits to chew on. Especially now that my cardiologist has strictly advised for weight loss. He then adds the word #tawidgutom which I recite in my head every day. Oh it's not easy, I tell you. Any woman who is ovulating would tell it to you straight. But then again, at the end of the day, it's still about losing weight.

So back to my dilemna. 

I find myself searching for a fruit. I went out last night with a friend to look for some fruits to bite my teeth on. Went inside two shops, but to no avail. Did you know that some 7-eleven branches carry fruits? But not on this part of the world I suppose.

It's a good thing they offered banana during the breakfast and dinner. Still if you think about it, something that grows from a tree, seem to be scarce on this part. And yet fish, meat, eggs, pork were readily available during meal time. There seems to be something wrong here.

Can't wait to go home and munch my apples. Paging hubby dear, buy me fruits wen I get home.

Discrimination

Once in awhile I'd like to go out with no make-up on (because I get pimples wearing them and also because I hate wearing them basically). I like to wear just t-shirts, shorts and a pair of slippers. I don't see anything wrong with it, for as long as I'm not walking naked, wouldn't you agree?

But with the society we have, with so many ads regarding make-up, women walking around with heavy  make-up in broad daylight, discrimantion comes in.

Discrimination, according to Webster, is the practice of unfairly treating a person or a group of people differently from other people or groups of people.

Stepping into a mall, literally wearing something very simple, isn't enough. You have to wear make-up, wear jewelries, so that these salesladies wouldn't think that you don't have any money. Me and my friend walk into a shoe shop. We just finished our training for the day, and we decided to walk around and do some shopping. So here we are stepping into a store. When we walked in, we didn't get a greeting, not even a "hello". After a few minutes, a woman walked in, wearing jeans but with make up and a branded bag, the lady greets the potential customer and tries to greet her at the door. Me and my friend looked at each other and decided to just leave the store.

This same friend wanted to buy a wig. She was waiting for her mother inside a department store. She spotted a wig she liked and asked the saleslady if she could look at it. This saleslady immediately told her that it's not cheap, and that it cost something. First off, she wanted to look at the item and not asked the price. 

A friend of mine borded a plane wearing plain jeans and shirt with a pair of flip-flops. She was trying to call the attention of the flight attendant but it seems though that she didn't see her. While another  passenger tried to call the flight attendant's attention and she was immediately attended to.

I know you've experienced those days as well. What is wrong with people nowadays. Are we that superficial? Just saying. 

Cancer

December is the cancer prevention month. I know I'm very very late. But I think everyday is cancer prevention day, don't you think?

This was the decoration DDH had last December 2016. I just thought I'd like to share it with you guys.